Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
