mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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