I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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