How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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