tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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