The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Come share oat with me in your robe
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
