I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
