i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
