I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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