We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
