How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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