I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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