Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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