oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Your penis caused this!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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