Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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