Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
