"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
