Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
