toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
