Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
