and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
