Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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