I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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