Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
