sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
