I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
