Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Randomize
