ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
