Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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