Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
