My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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