New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
