i think i have herpe
just one?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Randomize
