i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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