I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
