I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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