so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
