the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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