pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
