She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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