I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
