soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The air was thick with penises
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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