Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
