Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
