We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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