dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
