last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize