My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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