Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
