I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it hurts more in the daytime
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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