I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
