I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
