Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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