he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
