so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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