how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
