Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
