So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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