I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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