I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize