And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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